hookers

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination
and drives on without second thought....

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door . "

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.

The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN
SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT,
YOU SINNER

when bored at a walmart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
5. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
6. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
7. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels
8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again." .....and last but not least,
10. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"